I’m Not Smart

I’m not smart, that’s how I’ve been perceived,

For the choices I made weren’t well received.

And for a long time these words held me back,

I thought my peers had something that I lack.

“You’re ruining your future” is what they said,

“Don’t be so stupid, Abdullah, use your head”.

And it took years for the hidden truth to unfold,

What was considered foolish was in fact, bold.

At fifteen, I was a good kid in a mad school,

My classmates and I broke every single rule.

We got our breakfasts by jumping the fence,

We did it everyday without any consequence.

One day, my friend jumped first and got caught,

I could’ve escaped but it’s not what I was taught.

I got suspended and the kids said I’m not smart,

Looking back, I did right by following my heart.

At twenty four, it was me against the universe,

I got into poetry and weaponized every verse.

I was still in college studying computer science,

To focus on my work, I made an act of defiance.

I abandoned my education a little while later,

And everyone around me saw me as a traitor.

The closest people to me said I’m not smart,

Looking back, I’m glad I made room for my art.

At thirty years old, I was struggling to find love,

Tasted defeat in every flavor one could think of.

I felt like it’s the only thing I’m missing in my life,

Somebody who could end up becoming my wife.

I was quick to see rejections as personal flaws,

I figured my ignorance was the probable cause.

This time, it was me who said that I’m not smart,

Looking back, it wasn’t about me, for I did my part.

Today, I’m proud to say that nothing changed,

I’m living in a future that I carefully arranged.

It was rough to take the road less traveled by,

But it makes all the difference, facts don’t lie.

If I went back in time I’d make the same choices,

I won’t pay attention to the disapproving voices.

And when they tell me yet again that I’m not smart,

From my heart, in my art, in the last part I’ll say: Fuck being smart.

– Da⁹⁰